The lead up to my wedding should be really exciting to finally see all my plans come together… It’s only 3 weeks away! 😊
Everything was going to plan until my first dress fitting… Rewind to a few months before when I sat down with the designer to design my dress.
I walked in the door with a big list of wants.
1. It has to cover my scars under my arms – had to have sleeves
2. My arms retain fluid due to my lymph node damage – had to be tight sleeves to my elbows
3. My left boob has a large indent over the top of my bra – had to have a high neck
4. I can’t have bones as they sit on my scars and can increase the risk of lymphodemia – no sexy figure hugging dress
5. My ankles and feet swell easily – have to have a dress to the floor
6. I get terrible flushes – need to be thin material
The list went on and on… the designer took note of it all and eagerly scribbled away until I had the start of a dress on paper.
Fast forward to 3 weeks ago when I tried my dress on for the first time… walked in the door full of butterflies and excitement.
Wiggled into my dress, got all fastened up, came through the curtain, turned to look in the mirror and my heart sank… this was not my dress, this wasn’t what I wanted!
The designer could see by my face that I was a little disappointed. She went through everything that I had asked for and it clicked… I had spent so much time telling her what I didn’t want that I’d forgot to tell her what I wanted! I had turned my dress into a list of dont’s, to try and hide the parts of my body that cancer had invaded… that’s what cancer does to you, it takes over your mind without you even realising it!
Thankfully I have an amazing designer who got to work straight away with a scary pair of scissors ✂️ snip here, tuck there, a pinch in there, hemline alteration there and she was done. I turned back around and smiled as I could see ME, not my scars, not my fluid arms, not my indent boob but ME!
So suppose what I’m saying is, don’t focus too much on the negatives and forget the positives, as cancer may have stollen a lot of things from me but it’s not having my wedding dress 👰